Never Let Go!!!

30/11/11

When u let the hand of ur dear ones go n walk alone in the wilderness, u don't realise most of the times that u are walking towards the opposite direction from where ur loved ones are! And when u realize the reality, u will have gone too far n will just have no energy to walk back n reach ur dear ones! By the time u gather all ur energy n reach them, it will be too late n they wud have thrown u outta their hearts! So never let go any of ur loved ones!

TOTALLY BLOCKED OUT!

Butterflies flying...
Outta moi brain...
Totally blocked out!!!


U say U wont wait for me...
I say I wont reach to U...
Totally blocked out!!!


U think I dont understand U...
and I think U don't get me....
Totally blocked out!!!


Dreams are fresh now...
Will start to fade soon...
Totally blocked out!!!


Emotions flowing out...
Emptiness conquering...
Totally blocked out!!!

Still Waiting for the Spring!

Walking through this paved way
Looking at those fallen leaves
Brings out my faded memories
Of you and your kisses on my forehead!


They were as fresh as the olive green leaves
Still clinging up on those brown branches
Nodding their heads to the blowing cool breeze
Oh then Momma...
You were with me!!


But now as you are gone,
Leaving me alone 
To ponder and to stare
At these fallen autumn leaves,
With just buried memories of you
And your bed time stories!


I'm still walking alone on this paved way
Where we used to walk together
Holding our hands and dreaming....
Just waiting for the spring to return!!

Haunting Memories of You!

These haunting memories
These faded feelings
Of you
Holding me tight to your bosom,
Whenever I wanted 
the warmth of your breath,
Will these ever go away?


Millions of shared breaths,
Thousands of shared words,
Hundreds of shared kisses,
Countless of shared feelings,
Still stay pinned up in my heart!
Will these ever go away?

You make me fly up in the sky!

I can't feel much better
Than the way I feel tonight
Feel like I can live forever
Feel like I can fly
When I thought I'd get it wrong,
You somehow make things right
That's the way you make me feel
Better than I've ever known it
Better than it's ever been
I can't seem to control it,
The way you make me feel
Like the sun coming up in the morning
Like holding the world in your hands
In a way I could never imagine
The way you make me feel
I couldn't feel much better
Than when I'm here with you
You make everything seem so easy
I'm telling you the truth
You never try to please me
But somehow you always do!
The simple things you do to me
Simple things you say...
I sometimes can't believe
It's for real!

You make me fly

Up in the sky!

You Speak Right to my Heart!

I always wonder,
How you can speak right to my heart!
Without saying a word you can light up the dark!
Try as I may I could never explain,
What I hear when you don't say a thing!

The smile on your face
Lets me know that you need me!

There's a truth in your eyes
Saying you'll never leave me!
The touch of your hand says

You'll catch me whenever I fall!
You say it best
When you say nothing at all!
All day long
I can hear people talking out loud!
But when you hold me near
You drown out the crowd!
Try as they may
They could never define,
What's been said between your heart and mine!
Coz honey... 

You always speak right to my heart..!!

11-11-11

Dear Diary,

You know what happened today? Couldn't sleep last night coz avan ennei urakkan vannilla :( So got up at 3 am and called him! Big Revelation: He didn't even know what really happened that day! I had misunderstood him! Why am I so stupid? :(

Well may be it was needed, a small soundarya pinakkam! Coz the inakkam after that was so romantic! :) Love U cho cho much chweet heart! <3

Iniyum time undu innu, adikoodaan!! Just waiting for it! ;) 
Ithreyum time wait cheythu! It seems like he is losing interest in talking to me? :O
Innu mommayude orma othiri varunnu enikk! iniyum 1 monthinullil momma will be totally out of our relationship! adh orkumbol I'm reminded of the butterflies.... Oru poem ezhudhi kondirikkuva! Nala complete cheyyaam! Anyways, gunnite diary! Chweet Dreamz!

The Feeble Voice from the Wilderness!

It was a beautiful blue lake...
Or may be I thought so!


I was walking along with him
Holding his hands,
Leaning on his shoulders,
Listening to his stories,
Whispering at his ears,
And laughing at his jokes!


My heart was telling me,
This is the moment 
You have been dying for!
Treasure this don't bury!
And I did!


When we neared the lake
The blueness was not there any more!
It was totally brown,
Brown and dry as wilderness!

I asked myself,
How did this happen so quick?
Was it a lake really or
Was it a mirage?


Now I could hear my heart ticking!
It was so loud that I felt like
Running away from it!


I looked at my side,
And all I could see was
The other end of my hand
hanging alone!
I was not holding him any more!


I tried to reach out for him,
But he was no where to be seen!
My brain said, Oh my goodness!
You have been dreaming all the time!


Now I listened carefully 
And I could hear that voice,
A feeble voice from the wilderness!
Murmuring out his name...
Calling out to him,
I beg you my sweet heart,
Please come back...!


No reply yet and....
I'm still lying in this Wilderness,
All alone... waiting for him to get back!
Will it ever happen??

Again!

10/11/11

Dear Diary,

You know what? I started it again today! Public aayittu groupil keri ellaavarodum hug choyichu! Oru small tit for tat! Avan adhu kaanumbol he will get hurt! Enikk ariyaam! But ennei betray cheythavanu njan enthenkilum onnu kodukkande? So idhu! 

Paavam njan inboxil keri flirt cheythappol Y vijarichu kaanum njanum avanei love cheyyuvaa ennu! haha!

Entho ariyillaa, innu flirting il limit cross cheyyaan thoni illaa! Damn, I love Z dat much! idhenthaa njan ingane?

Group il keri the Princess Story upload cheythu! Kuree comments njan senti adikkuvaa ennokka paranju! True story parayumbol true feelings um varum ennu enthaa aarkkum manasilaavaathe? Inbox il vannum chilar paranju... inganathe personal stories onnum public aakkallee ennu! Stupid hypocrats! Open aayittu life live cheyyaan ariyaatha "inbox idiots!" Njan ingane ellaam open aayittu parayumbol avanmaarude secrets um koodi purathu varumo ennu pedi avanmaarkku! Adh orthu enikk sherikkum chiri vannu! But avide "OK da... ini post cheyyillaa!" ennu njan reply koduthu vechu! But I did have a good laugh on those stupid advices those sentimental idiots gave me!

Enikku innum sedation tablets edukendi varumo? :(

Why does this always happen to me?

09 Nov, 2011

Dear Diary,
I thought that he loved me more than anyone else! But innu avan also proved that he didn't care a bit about me! Group il oruthan keri ennei xxx chat cheyyaan vaa ennu vilichappol njan avanei theri vilichu! Enittu avanei block cheythu! But I wanted to know what he was going to do after that! Adhondaa njan Z nte profile il keriyee!! Appol Z available allaatha kondu njan thanne aa _____ inodu avante sisters nei ayekkaan paranju thery vilichu from Z's profile! I was just hoping that Z would understand moi situation when he sees moi posts from his profile! But all Z did was to betray me! He just tore moi heart apart! I should never love and trust anyone ennu ente Z vum enikku kaanichu thannu! Ente hridhayam thakarnu poyi!!! A big hole in moi heart again! A damn feeling of emptiness!!! Innum enikk ente sedative edukkaan vendi varum!! DAMN!!! 


Why does this always happen to me?

Emptiness!

Emptiness....!!!
Feelings drained out
Through these streams of tears!
Those moments u held moi hands and wiped moi tears n said "karayallee vaavee!!! Njan illee ninakku?" seem like gone in the wind!
Those broken promises, I will never leave u Vaaveee...!
Just gone in the wind!!!
Feels like calling out from this wilderness....
Knowing that this feeble voice will never reach ur ears....
Em just a piece of broken trust!
Just another memories...!

Emptiness!!! :-|

The Princess Story!

Katha kelkano aarkenkilum? Oru kunju hridhayam veendum orikkal koodi potti thakarnu poyadhinte katha?
Ennaal idhaanu aa katha!!!
Oru raajyathile oru rajakumari undayirunnu!! Aa rajakumari sherikkum oru pavam kunju princess aa!!! She expected everyone to love her and she cant stand anyone's hatred towards her!!!
Aa princess inte momma oru angel aayirunnu! Aa angel daily princess inodu parayum "u are the most beautiful gal in the whole world bcoz u have the most beautiful heart which can and want to love all the creatures under the sun" ennu! This princess started to beleive those words and started to behave as if she had the biggest heart in the whole world which can accomadate anyone and everyone!!!But pavam aa princess inu ottum ariyillaayirunnu reality il adh possible allaa ennu!! To love everyone and to be loved by everyone!! Aaa lil lil heart il adhyathe hole aa Angel thanne ittu! That angel left our princess and flew away to a far far country when our princess was still too little to understand what was going on! :(
When her momma left her, our princess felt an emptiness in her heart for the first time when she was nine years old! Loneliness started to haunt her lil lil heart!
Then our princess started her quest of finding someone else who could replace the lost angel! When she was 13 she found someone who poured out love abundantly that the princess started thinking that it was her ultimate destiny! She gave her lil lil heart to that person thinking that he was her prince charming! But 2 years later she realised that she was wrong! :(
It was too late when the princess understood what was reality! She even took the risk of flying to that person's country all alone when she was 15 but only to find that her lil lil heart was broken into millions of pieces! Broken trust! Princess felt the emptiness for the second time! :(
Nammude ee kunju princess inu ethra kittiyaalum bhudhi varillaatto! Our princess thought that it was end of life and tried to commit suicide at her age of 15!!!! But her pavam dad enganeyum correct time inu kandupidichu avalei hospital il aakki kalanju! So princess avide marichillaa! Veendum thante rajakumaranei thedi nadakkaan thudangi!!
Appol vere oru person princess nei veezhthi! Kuree love um care um kaanichappol princess thought he was her prince charming ennu! 6 months kazhinjapppol princess oru day avante Orkut album kandu sathyam kandupidichu that she was just one of his numorous girl frienz ennu! Appol veendum princess inte lil lil heart thakarnnu! Kuree karanju enkilum first love pole othiri painful onnum illaayirunnu ee time!!! Ennaalum emptiness for the 3rd time! :(
Next person um vannu princess nei FB il poke cheythu... Princess inte weakness kandupidichu! Princess inu momma ennu paranjaal othiri ishtam ennulladh avan arinju! Avante mommaye okka introduce cheythu paranju "Lizzu, u can have my momma as ur momma!" ennu! Mandi princess adhum vishwashichu kannum moodi aa personei keri premikkaan thudangi! Ee time only 3 months avarude relationship undayirunnu! Aarum ariyaadhee secret aayitt avar aa relationship maintain cheytha kondu avar break up aayappolum aarum arinjillaa! Ee time reason avante pacha kallam aayirunnu! He was in love with another girl for like 4 years and avan nammude princess nei pattikkuvaairunnu! :(
4th person um vannu princess nei premikkaan... Che pattikkaan! Ivanaayaal oru valya famous pulliyaa... Orkut ilum FB ilumokka vallya group owner um okka aayirunnu! Nammude princess inte second weakness: I miss you ennu aaru paranjaalum kannum moodi vishwashikkum!! Ee person princess inu vendi separate groups okka undaakki, "Miss you Vaavee!" ennum paranju more than 1000 posts in 3 days ittu!!! Oru campil poyittu 3rd day thirichu vanna princess online keriyappol kaanunnadh ee Missing group and posts! Dheee angu veendum veenu poyi nammude stupid princess!! :( Kuree days nu sesham princess inu real life enthaannu manasilaakkan ulla chila avasarangal kitti.... Like, Princess avalde pappayude true love manasilaakkiyadhum, avalde momma and pappa enthu kondaa separated aayi ennu manasilaakkiyadhum, pinnee enthinaa avalde momma angel avalei 9 yrs old il itteichu poyi ennulladhum ellaam manasilaakki! Princess was 17 yrs old then!
Love cheytha personu vendi nammude princess kuree kashtapedendi vannu! Cash medichu patticha matters okka aayi!!! Adhayadhu, lover inu oru necessity vannappol princess oru hotel il cleaning pani cheythu save cheytha cash um frienzinodu borrow cheytha cashum ayittu oru huge amount avanu ayechu koduthu! But when princess was in trouble princess inte so called lover couldnt help! Anganee princess had to break her promises and felt yet another emptiness!!! :(
By this time, princess inu serious love true love idhokka verum humbug ennu manasilaayi poyi!! So she started flirting with anyone and everyone that she liked!!! Aarodum othiri attach aavillaa!!! Princess sherikkum pretty gal ennu kandittu princess inu daily othiri proposals varum! But princess adhokka easy aayittu tackle cheyyaan padichu!!! Yethu group ilum keri aarei venumenkilum public aayitt mwaah vekkum.... Theri vilikkum ingane okka!!! Oru verum cheetha kutty aayi poyi nammude pavam princess!!!
Princess othiri cheetha kutty aannulladhum princess inte charmingness um ellaam kandittu vere oru person princess inodu seriously propose cheythu!!! Public aayittu allaa... Very privately very differently princess avanodu flirt cheyyaan thudangi!! But ee person princess nodu nuna paranjittillaa... Show off cheythittillaa... But sincere care and love othiri kaanichu!!! Princess inu reality ariyaallo! So she told him at the beginning itself, that she cant marry him ennu!! Avan paranju, "saaramillaa vaavee nee ennei thirichu love cheyyanum ennillaa... Nee just be urself! Njan mathram ninne sincere aayittu love cheytholaam!" Ennu!! Princess adh kettittu karanju poyi!!! :'(
Appol aa person princessinte hand tight aayitt hold cheythittu tears wipe cheythittu paranju... "karayallee vaavee... Njan ille ninakku?" ennu!! Princess anganee melt aayi poyee!!!! ♥
‎"Whatever may come I will never leave you!" idhaayirunnu princess inu princess inte Dil kodutha promise! But innu princess inu oru small avashyam vannappol princessinte Dil princess inte koodi nilkaadhee ozhinju maaraan shremichu! Adhu princess avante profile il keri kandu! Kandappol avalde lil lil heart potti thakarnu veendum aa emptiness feeling vannappol princess itta post aa ee Emptiness post!!!

Emptiness....!!!
Feelings drained out
Through these streams of tears!
Those moments u held moi hands and wiped moi tears n said "karayallee vaavee!!! Njan illee ninakku?" seem like gone in the wind!
Those broken promises, I will never leave u Vaaveee...!
Just gone in the wind!!!
Feels like calling out from this wilderness....
Knowing that this feeble voice will never reach ur ears....
Em just a piece of broken trust!
Just another memories...!

Emptiness!!! :-|

The Story Continues.........!!!! :)

THE END!!!! <3

Still You Will be a Memory!

You walked in to my life, 

But just like that, 

You walked back out, 

Still you will be a memory, 

A memory that I have created in my mind, 

Still you will be a memory, 

A memory that will always be locked, 

Away in my heart and my mind, 

I will always have a memory of you in my heart, 

And I will always carry that picture of you in my mind, 

Still you will be a Memory...! 

Dil

Dear Diary,

U know what, he says em fooling him! Yes I am! Em just trying not to hurt him by flashing back moi past! But he would neva understand me, would he? I said em leaving him foreva! I knew all the time that this was gonna happen one day or other! But neva thought it would be this quick! Is this chapter over? One more break-up? Donno for sure! But only thing em sure about is that I loved him truly, madly and deeply! Datz why this hurts me a lot! Should I go back to him or get away from him foreva? God help me!